Goodbye...

Tonight, after months of teetering on the edge and trying to make things work, Bethany and I decided to end it after almost 15 months together.

It's funny how everything on the radio reminds you of someone more after you've lost them than when you had them in your life. I don't think I've actually cried in years, but the whole half hour drive back home, I just couldn't hold back. I found myself vacillating between periods of amazement at the depth of emotion (a depth I rarely enjoy with my current suite of mental coping devices) and extreme sorrow that I had to let something wonderful go because of those very devices.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever stop being enough of who I am to really be who I a REALLY am...