Farrago

Say Hello to My Little Friend...

2007-05-21T11:21:00.000-07:00

Remember the Praying Mantis I caught last summer? She laid eggs while we had her, and I was fortunate enough to catch them hatching and fed them before they starved to death. Of the hundreds that emerged, only about 10 or so managed to survive (due to cannabalism, underfeeding, etc).

Here's the second largest one:

Hopefully I can keep her around long enough to do some high speed photography of her catching and eating a blowfly, because it's something I think everybody should see.

Goodbye...

2007-05-17T01:40:00.000-07:00

Tonight, after months of teetering on the edge and trying to make things work, Bethany and I decided to end it after almost 15 months together.

It's funny how everything on the radio reminds you of someone more after you've lost them than when you had them in your life. I don't think I've actually cried in years, but the whole half hour drive back home, I just couldn't hold back. I found myself vacillating between periods of amazement at the depth of emotion (a depth I rarely enjoy with my current suite of mental coping devices) and extreme sorrow that I had to let something wonderful go because of those very devices.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever stop being enough of who I am to really be who I a REALLY am...

Just Started Talking, and McKinzie's Already Coming Out of Her Shell

2007-04-20T02:17:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how much time flies, and nothing illustrates this more than the photographic development of little children. I have seen my niece but twice since her birth last June and she's already so huge!

I have written into my (soon to be complete) Goals-To-Be-Met-by-December list to make more time for people in my life, since this year flew by way too fast...

The Latest Buzz

2007-04-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

I believe that for those of you who have asked in the past about my job as a beekeeper, you are aware that due to the marvelous invention that is the bee suit, and the timing at which I became gainfully employed here at UC Davis, that I have been stung a dozen times, at best.

What made my job so fantastic was that, unlike most individuals, I rarely experience swelling and tenderness following being stung. However, last Sunday, as I was working a particularly temperamental colony of bees in the city of Winters, one lone bee managed to deliver an uncharacteristically painful dose of venom in my left index finger. Continuing on the subject of unusual, this time my finger enlarged to the point of being unflexible, and deformed half my hand with it!

All this would have been fine, as was the time the next day when some bee stung my on the scalp and my ears felt slightly cramped, but it was the attack on my collarbone last Wednesday that really put the nail in the coffin:

Within 15 minutes of being stung a single time, I had a full body itch, and a really attractive rash up and down my arms, which culminated in labored breathing and an alterned heartbeat several minutes later!

Currently, I am working through the process of getting my HMO to send me to a specialist, so I can verify this wasn't a fluke, but for now, I offer you the chance to enjoy the full irony that has become characteristic of my life:

I, the beekeeper, am becoming dangerously allergic to honeybee venom!

Things are Picking Up...

2007-02-25T13:34:00.000-08:00

I apologize for the long delay in my blogging. You may be wondering what I've been up to these past two months, or more likely, you haven not. For those in the first group I submit a brief synopsis, and a renewed pledge to update more often.

First and foremost, I am still clipping away at both full time jobs. While this has had an unsurprising toll on my body and energy stores, I am proud to say that I have met my original goal of paying off two maxed out credit cards, leaving them free to use in case of any emergencies. Secondly, as my more sharp readers may have noted, this marked increase in credit and financial stability allowed me to finally buy a new car- a 2003 Chevy Silverado.

Although it still smells like dealership detailer solvent, I took my new toy up into the tortuous and wet roads of Mount Diablo State Park to once again assume the role of Scoutmaster for our troop. Despite the looming threat of torrental downpour hung over us all weekend, the trip was fun, and we stayed pretty dry. If I have some time, I'll post some photos some other people took of the weekend.

Currently, I'm in the process of drafting a set of life goals, so that I can assess which of my two jobs, if either, I really want to stick with, so I can quit the other one and start enjoying my life a little bit. Hopefully I'll get it done soon, so that you, my friends, can help keep me on track...

Much more to post, but it will have to come later. I need a shower and some cold beer!

I am now nieghbors with...

2006-12-16T23:18:00.000-08:00

The Governator. Ok, we live in the same town, but his mansion is only a few miles away from my new place.

Tomorrow, pictures. But for now...rest.

May As Well "Kiff" My Free Time Good Bye...

2006-10-03T00:36:00.000-07:00

I witnessed the rebirth of my eighty hour work week as I walked through the door of my new job this morning. I wish I could say that it hurt, that somehow the realization of long days and the rehashing of my tamed caffeine addiction dampened my spirits slightly, but, man, I really like the atmosphere of this company.

Now that I've spent eight hours in one-on-one meetings, reading scores of standard operating procedures, watching powerpoint presentations, and conversating with half a dozen management personnel, I am now able to tell you what Kiff actually does!

Essentially, we specialize in determining levels of diesel and gasoline residues in soil, water and air samples. This information is used by engineering and consulting firms to determine fault, financial responsibility and mitigation protocols for underground fuel tank leaks at gas station sites, and other similar civil suit issues. Not quite the "forensic toxicology" job I originally set out for, but hey, it's a good place to start.

Now, don't be jealous, but tomorrow, I get to read standard operating procedures for... EIGHT FRIGGIN' HOURS. Vision plan had better be included in my health insurance!

Today's Life Lesson:

2006-09-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

Positive numbers in the bank account, however ephemeral in existence, are a nice change of pace.

Well, It's About Time...

2006-09-27T00:04:00.000-07:00

Two weeks after the second interview, just when I thought I was going to have to send out another round of applications, Kiff Analytical finally called and offered me a job.

Now that all the B.S. is Behind Me...

2006-09-26T23:23:00.000-07:00

Over the course of the past six years that was my undergraduate experience, I have come to realize just how many possibilities and directions any one person's life can take. Now that I have a Bachelors degree in hand, I have been forced to take a long hard look at what it is I really want to do with myself for the next 80 years or so.

This auditing process was magnified over the series of events this summer that led me to the resolution to walk away from all the research I was attempting to do in the Forensic Entomology lab here on campus. However, it became alarmingly clear in a matter of weeks that the burning desire to explore complex questions and the almost effortless ability to generate experimental designs to answer those questions was a part of my personality that just could not be ignored.

This presented me with a great internal conflict, because I no longer wanted to pursue a PhD in this laboratory, but I seemed unable to leave science alone. Given the large amount of effort I would have invest in getting into another graduate program elsewhere, I was forced to evaluate what the payoffs would be for my program of study, and what it would cost me to get there.

It was at this point, that I had a different thought, one I pose to you for your consideration. On the whole, math and science are held in huge contempt amongst elementary and secondary school scholars in this country. The number of students studying, or even capable of using concepts in, the sciences is sharply decreasing. Yet many of the problems in the world are either still unanswered, or the list is growing past the rate researchers can handle it.

Doesn't it make sense, then, that the kinds of people who can't resist asking questions, that the individuals who stay up excited for days on end working out the details of some flash of insight, have an obligation to take up study in the areas of research that directly impact society?

This is not to say that am arrogant enough to assume I could answer any of these questions quickly or better than past researchers have done, but if choosing between an answer that allows me to convict half a dozen murderers a year, or an answer that feeds, cures, or heats millions of people, aren't I being selfish pursuing such an arcane topic? Do I not owe it to the world to give my best efforts to the very problems that plague them, pursuing other questions of lesser merit recreationally?

BEEKEEPING 101 : STARTING YOUR SMOKER

2006-08-28T22:07:00.000-07:00

So I thought it would be kinda fun to start adding a series of tutorials on how to do some of the various jobs I've either had or currently hold. For starters, it makes blogging about them MUCH easier, but also I tend to gravitate to really interesting and arcane jobs that I think you will enjoy learning about. I know I find most other people's jobs curious.

Today's entry deals with one of the basic tools of beekeeping, the smoker. When working with bees, it is important to remember that they communicate primarily by smell, and that subjecting them to a cloud of smoke gums up the receptors on their antennae. This effectively renders them deaf to alarms from other bees about your intrusion into the hive.

The construction is quite simple. Essentially, it is a tall cylinder with a bellows attached to it (on the right in the photo). As you work the bees, you fan the embers with the bellows to generate smoke from the material inside the cylinder. However, many novices end up with a smoker that constantly goes out. Here I explain an effective way to make sure you can smoke bees all day long.

STEP ONE : Add a Small Amount of Tinder

There are many schools of thought on what type of tinder to use. Here at UC Davis, we use pine shavings for our kindling, but many old time beekeepers use other materials, such as burlap, instead. The key is to find something that smokes, not burns. Do not add more than half an inch up the canister.

STEP TWO : IGNITE IT

Drop a couple of matches on the tinder and fan it with the bellows until all the material catches and bursts into flames. Try to get as much of the surface area burning as possible.

STEP THREE : SMOTHER IT

Slowly drop the in the rest of your tinder, so that you smother the flames. Fan the bellows to keep the embers beneath your kindling burning. Fill to about one inch below the lip of the smoker.

STEP FOUR : Add a Screen

Add it to the inside of the lid of your smoker. When it catches the embers your bees with thank you for it.

STEP FIVE : Top It With Grass

Smoker stopped smoking? How will you tell if the fire's gone out, or if you're just out of fuel? When the grass starts burning it will stop smelling like pine... Now close it up, and you're done.

A quick word about smoking bees, though. You want your smoke to be relatively cool, as a hot, dry smoke will harm them. Otherwise, go ahead and be liberal, it won't hurt them. So long as you add more kindling whenever you smell the grass burning, this should last you until you get tired of working.

One of those days...

2006-08-23T19:50:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else find it ironic that the online fee for "credit protection services" caused me to exceed my credit limit?

In other news, I spoke to early about the job situations. I have an interview for Deputy Coroner next month...

Yosemite Falls

2006-08-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

That about does it for my photos of Yosemite. I had a story about my truck overheating on Tioga Pass, but really, I think we just sort of assume by now that my car is going to do something irritating on whatever trip I got on.

2006-08-18T13:47:00.000-07:00

Bethany and I on the footbridge just below Vernal Falls

Say Uncle...

2006-08-16T19:31:00.000-07:00

So, my sister took her state board cosmetology license (yes, Matt, that's hair stuff ;-p) exam today. We're all very proud to announce that she passed, too! So, after nearly a year of classes and internships, she is finally qualified to hack anyone's hair off. It was a pretty grueling ordeal, since she got up at 0530 hours and didn't finish until 2pm!

Saavy readers might wonder, then, what became of 7 week old McKinzie during that time... well, I ended up watching her in what was my first completely solo newborn babysitting job ever. She's a really well behaved kid, and although I fed her most of the time, she did manage to sleep for a good four hours after her mother left. Unfortunately, the only shot I got wasn't a very good one:

Yosemite

2006-08-14T22:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I sorta lost steam and forgot to finish my story. Instead of trying to tease out the last three days of my trip, I will just recap the highlights:

1. I had 14 hours to kill between meeting up Bethany in Yosemite and my departure from Mount Whitney, so I ended up getting my front brakes redone, ROTORS AND ALL in the city of Bishop. I missed out on the chance to visit the Ancient Bristlecone Pine Forest because of engine cooling problems. However, I did come across this monument outside of Big Pine, and immediately thought of Jerid, since it was of historic interest:

- I finally met up with the group at about 1am at the gate to Yosemite, and I spent the night in the bed of my truck staring at nearly a billion stars. I spent the entire next day on the main reason I added Yosemite to the agenda. *insert mushy couple who hasn't seen each other for months stuff*

- Part of the deal for getting the secluded campsite we did was that our group had to do a service project for the park. We ended up replacing barbecue pits with a ranger who reminded us all a lot of Toe Mater from Disney's new movie Cars. Aside from smashing my finger open on a bbq and dropping a pike on my toe, it was a fun way to spend the morning.

Hampshire Rocks!

2006-08-13T21:26:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't even finished posting the photos from my last trip yet, but I couldn't resist going out and getting some more uncivilized hours logged in for this month. This month, I took our scout troop to Hampshire Rocks, a state park located next to The Rainbow Lodge near Lake Tahoe.

The main reason I selected this site was so that we could take a two and a half mile hike to Loch Leven Lakes, teaching the younger scouts about orienteering and map work along the way. Unfortunately, Kenny overheated just outside of the historic mining town of Auburn, which took me several hours to get diagnosed at the Chevy dealership, so one of the new dads lead the hike instead.

Despite this fact, the outing was tremendous amount of fun, and with just 4 scouts - all new boys about 11 years old- the atmosphere was condusive to getting to really know the people I was camping with. And Matt, if you can believe it, I even got offered a job :-p

I didn't get many photos of the actual locality, so I'll leave you with this last shot of the Yuba River behind our campsite:

And my blood pressure returns to normal...

2006-08-11T18:18:00.000-07:00

So, I called the soon-to-be tenants and explained my housing situation to them. Often times I've claimed that though I have an unusually stressful life, I am somehow the luckiest bastard that walked the face of the Earth. This is one of those times.

Girl three is studying abroad in France fall quarter, and was stressing over finding a sublet.

Problem one solved. In less than 24 hours, too...

Well, That's Interesting...

2006-08-10T12:11:00.000-07:00

It would seem that my landlord "doesn't remember" me telling him I wanted to stay in the house next year, so he leased it out to three girls.

My lease ends in two weeks.

Wonderful.

Because I hate Being Left in the Dark

2006-08-09T00:15:00.000-07:00

Not too surprisingly, the trek back down the mountain was disorienting. The entire leg of the trip that was cloaked in darkness seemed to drag on and on as if the rangers of Inyo Nat'l Forest purposefully moved the trailhead several miles in the opposite direction to spite tired hikers.

Fortunately, the landscape was no less beautiful, and although my legs were so tired I nearly reached muscle failure the final four miles, I could not resist a few final snapshots to bring back home to you.

Trailside Meadow

Outpost Camp

This one probably needs some clarification. Look closely at the rock slab in the center of the photo. It's wedged between the roots of a fallen over tree. One can't help but wonder how smart and strong the Whitney Black bears are...

That about does it for my photos of Mount Whitney. We arrived back at the trailhead around 1800 hours, and promptly regained some of the lost calories with a juicy bacon cheeseburger and root beer before heading to bed. I didn't get a picture, but the pancakes the Whitney Portal General Store sells are outrageous! They are easily 10 inches to a foot in diameter, and I have yet to see anyone eat the whole thing in one sitting...

One Last Look

2006-08-09T00:11:00.000-07:00

The view from the edge of the summit, back down into the Owens Valley.

Almost to the End of Day Two, So I'd Better Summit Up...

2006-08-08T22:43:00.000-07:00

We reached the top of the mountain around 1030 hrs, which is not a fantastic rate when you consider that some trail runners can finish the whole thing in about 3 hours, but it was not a bad clip either. During part of the journey I wondered how long it took to build an 11.2 mile trail in such extreme conditions; that question was answered by the plaque above. Can you believe it only took TWO YEARS?! Incredible...

For some reason, my father doesn't look too winded in this picture...

And finally, the main reason I came on this trip: to reach the summit with my dad! See the road over my shoulder that eventually disappears? At that vanishing point is about where the city of Lone Pine is.

Now, I had told you that this trip took some interesting twists and turns. If you recall back to the legally blind man who nearly scaled Mt Muir (which is kinda bizzarre in and of itself) it might interest you to know that it was also his 50th birthday the day of this trip. Regardless, it will definitely interest you to know that he decided to commemorate the whole affair by packing up a $150 bottle of Dom Perrione champagne to the top of Mount Whitney!

Since the entire contingent was composed of engineers for Raytheon, naturally there was a huge pool betting on what altitude Mike's bottle would explode at. In the end, he won out, uncorking the beast at the apex of the mountain, and everyone in the vicinity was adequately rewarded with what is perhaps the BEST champagne I have ever tasted.

I dare say, that was the classiest birthday party I had the honor of being invited to.

Guitar Lake

2006-08-08T22:39:00.000-07:00

Most landmarks, in my opinion, are like the constellations, in that they require some stretch of the imagination to see what the person naming them was thinking. In this case, however, it was pretty clear, even before consulting a map, that this acoustic guitar shaped lake was the infamous Guitar Lake.

One Last Shot of Trail Crest

2006-08-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

... because every explorer needs an official looking pose to put everything to scale, and prove he was there.

Mount Muir

2006-08-08T17:08:00.000-07:00

One overzealous member of our group tried to bag Mt Muir on his way to Whitney, but as he is legally blind, some portions of the rock scramble seemed to precarious for his taste. Perhaps if I ever return...

Trail Crest

2006-08-08T16:31:00.000-07:00

Most backpackers make it the 6.3 miles to Trail Camp, which is also the last reliable source of water along the Whitney Trail, before they camp there for the night. Most likely, this is because at an elevation of over 12,000 feet, most people begin to experience the effects of altitude sickness, and need to spend some time acclimating to the thin air.

Of course, it could be that it is the last place to rest before the infamous 97 switchbacks as well. This grueling leg of the trip not only climbs a thousand feet in elevation over 2 miles, it also has remnants of the past snow season dancing across several portions of its upper leg. Good thing they also cut the switchbacks into sheer drop offs, too, in case the icy trails, lightheadedness and thin, dry air weren't intimidating enough for the determined hiker. I kid you not, I almost thought the old man was history a few times on that trail!

However, the view from the top of Trail Crest (the "summit" of the 97 switchbacks) is reason enough to brave the treacherous trail.

From it, you can not only see back down into the valley (the lake on the right is Consultation Lake):

but you can also see the Eastern slope of the Sierras, including the John Muir Trail:

DAY TWO

2006-08-08T12:43:00.000-07:00

Most hikers finish the Mount Whitney Trail in 10-18 hours, and the members of our contingent left at various time intervals to reflect that range of paces. Some left as early as 10 pm the previous night, but my dad and I, seasoned veterans as we were, chose to begin our trek at the ungodly hour of 2am.

It's interesting how psychology plays such a huge role in backpacking. When you leave in the pitch black of the night, you can only focus on one thing: "Man, I hope I don't trip on something I can't see!" The thought is so pervasive that you don't realize you've been at it for several hours and already traversed half a dozen miles until the sun starts to rise, calling your attention back to the world outside the microcosm of illuminated wilderness provided by your handy mag-lite.

As you might imagine, we were both incredibly tired by this point, and most of the hiking done in the dark was a blur. (See above picture for proof...) But we had made it past Mirror Lake by sunrise, and the view was well worth the extra effort.

DAY ONE

2006-08-07T21:13:00.000-07:00

Most of the day, beginning at 0530 hrs, was consumed by the eight hour
drive from Davis to Lone Pine. Since I essentially went to bed after having lunch with my Dad in Lone Pine, it seems like a better decision to say a few things about Mount Whitney

The mountain is the the tallest in the lower 48 states, and currently there are four ways to reach the peak. From the east, the trek takes about 6 days, and spans over 70 miles. One may also take the mountaineering route and climb up the face directly, which is by far the shortest route. There is one other lesser known path, but our group decided to take the most popular route, The Mount Whitney Trail. This path has an elevation range of 6,000 feet over the course of the 22.4 mile journey.

I tried to find the distances between the landmarks, so that I could show you an elevation profile, but that data seems to be beyond my googling skills right now, so the topo map above will have to do for now.

Interestingly, the Inyo National Forest website mentioned that so many people visit this place, that last year alone the hikers packed out 1.3 TONS of human waste! In case you were wondering, the peak is named after Josiah Whitney, chief inspector of the California Geological Survey in late 1800's when the mountain was first scaled. Prior to 1861, Mount Shasta was believed to be the tallest mountain in the United States. It stands 14,496 feet above sea level.

Like most of the Sierras, it is an absolutely breath taking place, as you will see tomorrow. Even my amateur photography skills had a difficult time taking a bad picture...

I'm HOME!

2006-08-07T09:33:00.000-07:00

Well, folks, I made it back from my 5 day camping trip. After a nice hot shower, a shave, a few beers, and a good night's sleep, I am ready to head back to work. Like all my other seemingly simple trips, this one was packed with a lot of surprises, extremes, and generally good story telling fodder. However, unlike previous trips, I made sure to take a lot of photos, so I think I will post an account of each day for the next half a week, starting tonight.

Oramus! (Let Us Prey...)

2006-07-26T19:28:00.000-07:00

I came into work the other day, and found this guy on the doorjam, so I quickly captured him and fed him a stray fly from around the lab. Note the cockroach in the background-- he was the mantis' lunch!

Maybe if I have some time, I'll try to clean this one up in Photoshop, but I was just mesmorized by how deftly and violently the fly reached her demise.

OOPS...

2006-07-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

In my mailbox this morning:

Dear Jason,

The College of Agricultural & Environmental Sciences Dean’s Office apologizes for sending you the email re: Minimum Progress in error. Since you were enrolled in this last academic year it seems your name erroneously came up on the data that was pulled for our continuing students. I have been able to confirm that you were approved for graduation for the June 2006 degree list. You do not need to worry about the contents of the email sent since you are now a UCD alum.

Thank you for understanding we apologize for confusion this may have caused you.

Almost rings reminescent of your 0.5 unit shy graduation mishap, eh Matt?

The Graduating Class of 2006 : Department of Environmental Toxicology

2006-06-19T09:21:00.000-07:00

Our class was small enough that it felt kinda like high school- in the sense that you really get to know and feel comfortable being around the same dozen or so people for four years.

I dare say I just might miss them!

Punslinger Charged With Second Degree

2006-06-15T18:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I FINALLY finished my last class for my Bachelor's earlier this morning. Additionally, I found out that I managed to squeak out a B in the class I had a D- in three weeks ago, and my aforementioned humanities class is likely an A. So, it seems I am finally graduating, after six long years. Since it seems to be a continual source of confusion my degree is is:

Environmental Toxicology
with a minor in
Medical Entomology

For those of you that were interested in this Sunday's commencement, the seating was way too limited, and I was only able to get 5 tickets. But if you feel like mooching off of me for some free pizza down in Santa Barbara on the 25th, let me know.

Now, its time to hit the ground running...

QotD: Do You Play Any Instruments?

2006-06-04T15:04:00.000-07:00

If not, have you ever, or what would you choose if you had the time/money to do so?

Time to time, I fiddle around with the keyboard and the guitar, but recently, I've added a new instrument to my collection:

I've been contemplating buying a bass guitar for a while now, and when I saw this sale come up over the weekend, I couldn't resist making the purchase. The guy who sold me the guitar reminded me a lot of my grandpa, and it was kinda weird, but I think all and all the deal was a pretty good one.

Now, to just finish school first...

Summer Easier Decisions Than Others...

2006-05-23T00:02:00.000-07:00

Barring any more academic hiccups this quarter (lamentably a very valid concern), I will, in fact be a proud graduate of the University of California. Like many of my fellow Bachelors, the time has come strategically pick jobs that will advance my career in the direction I am hoping to head in over the next few years.

I believe I have mentioned that I will be conducting research with a doctoral candidate here in our lab over the next year, with the potential for more collaborations with other graduate students. Unfortunately, the job is unpaid, and this poses a serious dilemma: I need publications to get into grad school, but I gotta eat too!

For a while, I was toying around with the idea of moving to Sacramento or Dixon, and getting a cheaper studio apartment, but I realized that with gas prices rising, I was better of staying in my current place. This means new roommates, which are always a wildcard, but at least I don't have to stress over moving this summer.

Rancho Alegre offered me a position on their summer camp staff this year, in the Nature program area, but it's only $200/week and four weeks in the middle of summer. It also overlaps my July 12-14th visit to Purdue for the fourth annual National Association of Forensic Entomologists conference. But, I don't think they'd be hiring me a month before the thing started if they weren't short on people...

The most viable option right now seems to be to get my Class A license and drive for Morning Star this summer. Truckers are known, during the harvest season, to make about $10,000 - $12,000 per summer and I would not have to worry about rent for an entire year if I spent my summer working hard with this company. Of course, this means I won't be able to research for three months.

I also don't know if I should look for a night job in the fall, or if I should try to work 10 hour shifts 4x a week, and research 3 days a week.

Can someone just share their winning lottery ticket with me? It'd make life much simplier...

Slim Pickin's

2006-05-22T23:37:00.000-07:00

So last night, I was supervising Bethany's last training event for her new promotion to Student Lead (aka, middle management) when a elderly woman accosted us and asked if anyone could help her get her keys she locked in her car. Apparently the ace locksmith in the group, I was dispatched to assist the woman.

The two minute ordeal was pretty simple; pop locks are always a piece of cake to open. But this time the woman tipped me $10, despite my violent protests!

So, in summary: I got paid to sit there and watch my someone supervise a parking permit sales event with my friends, that someone was my girlfriend, I got tipped $10, and I got to break into a car.

How sweet is that?

QotD: Do You Have Any Weekly or Daily Rituals?

2006-05-16T23:53:00.000-07:00

Answer: Yup! Every Tuesday night, I get together with some fellow forensic entomologists, morticians, and assorted acquaintances for Trivia Night at the bar in Sophia's Thai Kitchen. So far we've tied for third three of the four times I've gone, first as Poopstained Jacket, then the Star Spangled Butt Guppies, and most recently as Malignant Defecation. Yes, we are a mature group of adults...

It used to be that I also always had Spicy Pork at Hibatchi Grill with Bruce, Stan and Jim, but then our lab meetings got moved to Tuesdays at noon, so that fell apart. I kinda miss having a set event to rely upon being there. If it were possible, I think I'd ideally live a life full of little habits like that interspersed with random, variable events, for just the right combination of security and surprise. Hopefully that makes some sense.

It's Been a Bessie Day...

2006-05-02T18:32:00.000-07:00

So, after three days of thawing, the cows were removed from the lab in Briggs. I even dressed up for the occaison: worn out wranglers, wifebeater, and broken down boots for the complete redneck effect. You should have seen the glances we got carryin' those things through the building to my truck!

Of course, the poor cows were not just subject to speculation and putrefaction. Nope, we invited the premiere ballistics expert in the Western United States to riddle them with pistol and rifle rounds:

The little pig Lindsay is holding was later used as a demonstration of gunpower tatooing in close proximity gunshot wounds. Admittedly, this is slightly better than the fates of some of the other pigs:

While the rest of the groups continued to set up their projects, I took a few bites of the Spam Wasabe Joe brought for us, and reflected back on how much I enjoy my strange little life.

To think I almost went to art school, too...

Don't Have a Cow, But...

2006-04-30T20:36:00.000-07:00

I swear I lead the strangest life ever. Bob just called me to tell me not to panic when I find 3 dead frozen calves on the floor of our lab over the next few days.

The sad thing is, I realized it wouldn't have even phased me to walk in and discover this on my own.

QotD: What's the Most Interesting Thing You've Done This Week?

2006-04-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

Answer: I ditched class this morning to help the Yolo County Sheriff conduct their semi-annual advanced homicide class up in Woodland. Not only did I get a chance to hang out with some of the forensic science students from UC Davis and University of New Haven (SacTo satellite campus), but I got to see some old familiar faces from the Coroner's office.

The weather was just right, and all of us were pretty well tanned by the end of the day. However, I think my favorite part of the day was when we brought the Ent 158 class to see some of the coursework. It's just really neat to watch people see things for the first time, and get excited about them. For as shy as I am, I really like teaching...

Stickin' it to the Man-- Err, I Mean Pipes...

2006-04-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

Researchers have apparently discovered the strongest glue known to man. It trumps superglue's adhesiveness by a three fold factor.

I suppose it's like the paradox of developing an acid that can eat through anything-- how do you manufacture this stuff in a realistic way?

QotD: Did You Wait Until the Last Minute to Do Your Taxes This Year?

2006-04-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

Answer: You bet your sweet bippy I did! This was actually the first year I sat down and did them entirely on my own, and it wasn't so painful in retrospect. Ten minutes of work, and I was done. Now, I just gotta get the thing postmarked!

I guess you can measure how complicated your life REALLY is by how difficult your taxes are, eh? Personally, I'm gonna enjoy these 5 minute calculations as long as they last...

QotD: What the Hell Is Maggot Art?

2006-04-15T18:46:00.000-07:00

Answer: Maggot Art is the result of taking third instar blowfly maggots, dipping them in non-toxic waterbased paints, and stragetically placing them on paper. As the maggot moves across the canvas, it will leave a trail of paint behind; subsequently, no two attempts are ever the same.

It was developed as an educational outreach tool by our lab's very own Rebecca Bullard, during her attempts to educate elementary school children about insects on the island of Hawai'i. It is completely safe for both the kid and the maggot, and currently is being negotiated as a classroom product by Carolina Biological Supply.

Today, we did a demonstration at the Davis Explorit Museum, during which I made a few pieces for onlookers. My scanner bulb is apparently now its way out, so the paneling effect is destroyed, but I think you can get a feel for how the paintings look despite the horrendous shading effect:

I suggest, if you are ever afforded the opportunity, that you partake in this highly creative, unique, and fun activity!

Last Quarter: Soon I'll be Looking for Change...

2006-04-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

The time has finally come for me to end my undergraduate career, and while I could get all sentimental about it, I think I'll save that for a date closer to June 18th. Instead, a recap of last quarter is probably in order:

- I managed, somehow, to pull off a B+ in the graduate chemistry class, even though I was the only one who turned in a final paper sans rough draft critiques by the professor. It turns out I'm a much better writer than most of the class. I even got a B+ on the oral exam, undoubtedly due to some really cute girl reading me chromatographic detection theory late at night, although she didn't even understand any of it...

- Stats was a C+, largely due to the fact that I didn't do any of the homework. It was 10% of the grade. Ooops.

This quarter looks to be interesting as well, for a number of reasons. Mostly beacause I feel more like a grad student this time around. I have been asked to do the thesis work for the grad student working on first instar maggot massing behavior, and this assures me coauthorship on 3 publications- a feat that will dramatically increase the competitiveness of my graduate applications this November. Additionally, I am taking more research oriented classes:

ETX 214 : Mechanisms of Toxicity. This is, apparently, the toughest upper division graduate level toxicology class in the catalogue, which is partly why I'm taking it :-) In addition to learning about the mechanisms of pharmaceuticals, warfare agents, pesticides, and other physiologically active chemicals, we are also expected to develop a 10 page mock grant to the National Institute of Health. Although I'm at a disadvantage (the only non grad student, thus the only one without an established thesis relating to Toxicology) I am optimistic that I will learn a lot. Most likely, I will develop a proposal on transport mechanisms of metals in the body...

ETX 103B: Biological Effects of Toxicological Experiments. The class I dropped half way through and subsequently failed. The first half of the quarter is mostly review, which is nice. Additionally, Dr. Miller is interested in developing a publication on aniline toxicity of companion animals, if the literature isn't well documented. This could mean another coauthorship, but in a toxicology journal...

Hum 113: Goethe's Faust. Supposedly one of the 3 greatest works of all time. Whatever. I just signed up for it because Mary and Katie were in the class, and I thought it would be fun to finally take a course with some of my friends. So far, Faust isn't a bad play...

Singled Out!

2006-04-15T17:19:00.000-07:00

Generally speaking, office romance is a bad policy. However, given everything that has happened in either my life, or the lives of those closest to me, I have come to realize that life is really too damn short to always follow common sense. This exception to sensibility is even more dramatic when it applies to you. Case and point, I present to you Exhibit A, the amazing smile on the lefthand side of the photo. For nearly a year, that smile tormented me; a possibility with too heavy a consequence to even pursue. However, the last few weeks, it has been a smile that inspires me.

Her name is Bethany, and she has one year left on a Landscape Architecture degree here at Davis. Additionally, she's a fellow SoCal transplant, from the infamous Orange County, and spends every summer as a Girl Scout camp counselor down there every summer-- how hot is that?

So there you have it, my friends. After two long years of looking, I have finally found someone to call my Girlfriend.

Free Fallin'

2006-03-05T20:47:00.000-08:00

So, I was talking to one of the doctoral candidates in our lab the other day, when I realized all of the sudden that the application deadline for grad school was the first of March! Oops. Well, I couldn't have applied anyway, since I needed this quarter's grades to even be considered.

It's sort of a relief to know that I need to be looking for a job now; the waiting and uncertainty was really starting to eat at me. I could be upset too, I suppose, that my roommates announced today that they'd rather live somewhere else next year (and had in fact found a place while I was gone this weekend) but all these factors together really make me about the freest I've ever been in my whole life. I've got no girlfriend, no established job, no school to return to in August, and no roommates for the fall. Now would be the time, if ever, to do something extreme, interesting or exciting.

Now, if I just knew what I wanted to do with all this unrestricted opportunity...

There's No Business Like Snow Business...

2006-03-03T07:48:00.000-08:00

Going camping in the snow at Tahoe this weekend with the Troop; hope everyone has a good one!

Takin' Another Shot at the Scrapbook

2006-03-02T19:38:00.000-08:00

I think you can begin to see what I mean about the previous room and this one being divided excusively by our fireplace. Although I really like having a hearth to read by, and plenty of bookshelves to spill my library into (Matt, c.f. this and previous post picture to discover why there is also an empty bookshelf in that photo...) and I've finally gotten all my furniture to match, I'm still not quite happy with this room.

Maybe it needs art on the walls or something?

'House This for a Start?

2006-03-02T01:05:00.000-08:00

After talking with Jerid the other day, I realized that I have not yet shown any pictures which would give you any indication of the kind of house I am currently living in. Today's set starts us off in the, well, the Empty room. Our floor plan is kind of funky (maybe I'll APS a blueprint later) but, briefly, the front door and entry way opens into this 16'x 16' room. I might be ok calling it the living room, if we did not in fact have a large area on the other side of the fireplace where my TV and couches are. Call it what you want, I won't judge you.

Even after 6 months, we're still at a loss as what to do with the damn thing. Right now I'm using it as storage. Ideas that have been tossed around include a full corner bar, pool table, and, conveniently, nothing. Perhaps you have a suggestion?

Oh yeah, do you like how low our fence sits? Yeah, me neither. Although it is nice to know that that someone else on our block does the dishes...

Ok, I Really Almost Did Leave My Heart in San Fransisco!

2006-03-02T00:48:00.000-08:00

I think it's worth mentioning a bit more about my impromptu expedition to Little Italy this weekend, because it is not often the case anymore that I get struck by these wierd sentimental moods.

I have only been to the City thrice; the previous two times were during the day. As I came over the Bay Bridge Saturday night, I saw the San Fransisco nighttime skyline for the very first time.

Amazing.

That's all I have to say. There was something so mesmerizing and surreal about how I felt when I saw it that I'm not even sure how to describe it in a way that does the experience justice. I do know that my sense of wonderment carried as I drove around the various streets to the previous mentioned Escapade, nearly rear ending SF natives and inadvertently driving down trolly car turnaround alleys while I gawked at the scenery and tried to ascertain just what the hell a blinking yellow light in the middle of an interestion street dominated by cable car rails was trying to persuade me to do.

There are so many aspects to a big city, so many subcultures that are completely outside the grasp of my imagination right now that I'm completely fascinated by the discovery they even exist.

I can't help but wonder how much of my life has been wasted away in complete ignorance of entirely different worlds just within driving distance of my comfort zone? What kind of person would I be today if I had gone to school at UCLA, UCSF, or even NYU? Would I enjoy the diversity, or would I feel more alienated than I already do where I am today?

I had decided then and there, that if I do not get into graduate school this next year that I have to move to a large city, at least for six months, because right now I don't think I could make it that long in such a chaotic place, and my world view is still so small, and that's just unacceptable.

I May Have Left My Heart in SF, But at Least I Got This Nifty Couch...

2006-03-02T00:32:00.000-08:00

I'm apparently getting better and better at spotting deals on Craigslist. My most recent find? A perfectly good black leather couch from Ikea... for FREE. Supposedly, when you sit on it, you sink in a bit, which means that the bottom supports need to be reinforced with a couple of 2x4 boards, and it's as good as new. Apparently that was too much work for the previous owner...

Speaking of which, I really have to share with you guys how I actually came about with this phenomenal piece of furniture in my hands:

I arrive at the door of this woman's house ALONE, because I forgot that San Fransisco has more hills than Hank and Peggy's family reunion picnic, and that this meant that the home with the sofa would actually be on the second story of the building. If you've never seen this kind of arrangement before, basically the first floor is comprised of stairs at a 60 degree slope...

I immediately notice she's about 7-8 months pregnant. (Ok, I lied. I noticed she was really attractive, THEN I noticed she had a bun in the oven.) To make a long story short, Preggosaurus and I ended up moving this 6' couch, on end, down the narrow steep stairs that conveniently take a 180 degree turn about half way down. Somehow, we managed to get it out of the house, down the stairs to the porch, and into my truck (which was illegally parked in a one way alley blocking the exiting driveway) with only a few minor near catastrophes. I thought for sure that I was going to throw her on the back of the couch and carry them both to the street so this poor woman could drop her baby.

MORAL: Next time, spur of the moment drives to the Bay or not, I'm bringing a friend.

Cub On Over and Hang Out With 466...

2006-02-20T21:09:00.000-08:00

So I found out tonight that due to the culmination of my growing leadership, a few parent's increased involvement, and some really enthusiastic boy leaders, our troop will be bridging 14 cubs scouts in the next few weeks.

Recruiting cub scouts is like an election campaign. You have all these little impressionable guys that are trying to decide which of the four groups of older, intimidating Boy Scouts makes them feel the most welcome, and previously we'd been getting maybe 4 or 5 a year. Right now, our roster has 20 names on it, so we're basically doubling size.

I know it isn't all due to my work, but man it makes my term as Scoutmaster look good, and it's a good indicator that things are finally starting to run smoothly after nearly a decade of struggling.

Needless to say, I am happy.

What's That? I Didn't Hair You the First Time...

2006-02-19T22:51:00.000-08:00

Oh, I almost forgot to recount this little nugget:

Last week, while hacking up all kinds of attractive green phlegm, I was without voice for three days. I took it as a sign of a upper respiratory infection, so I ventured into Cowell Student Health Center for a little check-up.

The Doctor was friendly enough. He listened patiently to my story, and asked the generic health care practitioner questions they always do. He checked my ear canals out. "Looks good." And he listened to my nasal cavities. "Looks Good." And he listened to my lungs. "Sounds good."

So, I'm waiting for his diagnosis.. you know, if I'm going to get antibiotics anytime soon or if he thinks it's viral, when he starts to say...

"Has your hair always been that thin in the front? I mean, you've got nice thick hair here *points at locks at the temples and behind the ears* but it's not quite as healthy up here in front *points to front of head* You know, male pattern baldness is a genetic thing... but if we catch it early enough, when the roots are still there, we can treat it. Would you be interested in that?"

*You're-kidding-right? half nervous smile/stare*

"Well, it bothers some people, that's all... Anyway, here's your prescription for some antibiotics, blah blah blah more pitches for hair loss treatment, blah blah blah"

I could not believe that even came up! Anyway, I turned him down. I wonder how many people my age get that kind of presentation...

Hamming It Up...

2006-02-19T22:12:00.000-08:00

After careful deliberation, I've decided that I need to get back into some of my older hobbies, even at the expense dropping some of my current pursuits. It just feels like I've grown a lot more tense in the last few years and I can see myself starting to change in the way I interact with everyone-- including my friends. Too much work and no outlet is a bad policy...

So, I dusted off my art supplies and whipped out this little guy this afternoon in the lab. It's the red legged ham beetle, a creature I am doing some half hearted colonization experiments with between blowfly projects. I've got some work cut out for me, as you can see by the misplaced highlights and rough tone transisitons, but considering I haven't picked up a colored pencil since city college, not too shabby...

Feeling Wheely Tired

2006-02-02T22:01:00.000-08:00

I thought I found a silver lining in all this, but the mechanic told me all tires have that steel belt woven into them.

Resigning to Fate

2006-01-31T22:27:00.000-08:00

So, I finally told them I didn't have the resources continue my internship at Arcadia today. As it turns out, they were planning to move me up in the lab by teaching me genetic transformations next week. This not only would have been another step to ensure I have a potential job upon graduation, it would make my resume a lot stronger for any molecular biology job out there...

Why do I have such bad timing?

(Upshot: It's off my chest. I'm down to school and Scouts now.)

This is Not Working...

2006-01-26T05:55:00.000-08:00

After careful consideration, I have decided to quit my internship at Arcadia. This week has made it abundantly clear that I cannot manage everything I have committed to this quarter, and given the fact that my role as Scoutmaster is fixed and my academic performance for the next two months will determine my graduate admissions, the only thing left to give up was my employment.

I just hate putting this financial responsibility back on my parents, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with the fact that I will be unemployed for the first time since pretty much high school.

I've swallowed my pride, now I just need to figure out how to give my notice...

2006-01-24T18:47:00.000-08:00

Why is it that the things in life worth having the most are always being destroyed by people who don't appreciate them, while those that would those that would give anything to have them are left standing just out of arm's reach?

2006-01-23T22:36:00.000-08:00

I'm slowly starting to notice myself taking on the disciplinary role at our troop meetings, but it still feels awkward. I wonder if parenting feels like this, or if you learn it so gradually that you don't even notice you've acquired a new set of skills. I just know that I can see definite gaps in my ability to extract information out of an eleven year old boy, but at the same time, I can see that I have the ability to make my point rationally and calmly to teenagers who might not see the error in their ways.

Ugh, I wish I could download advanced crisis intervention directly onto my brain, matrix style...

2006-01-22T17:41:00.000-08:00

So Saturday night I went to a party, against my better judgement. The birthday girl, Katie, started drinking about 4pm and the shindig began about 10pm, which should give you a pretty accurate framework to imagine how enubriated she already was when I showed up and realized I didn't know any of the four dozen people there. I did a Jakob Dylan and played the wallflower for about the first half an hour and waited for some familiar face to float by.

Fortunately, some of my fellow TAPS coworkers finally showed up, and from then on, everything was alright until Katie decided that the stripper pole she was dancing on wasn't good enough, and I somehow ended up being the pole:

Needless to say, I was quite embarassed, as the room's attention migrated that way. Nevertheless, it was great to get to know the people I work with a bit better, and I finally got to meet Jon's girlfriend who justed moved out here from Indiana to live with him.

I suppose if my tolerance level weren't so high, I would have had more fun...

The Web May Have No Weaver, But It Has Buyers...

2006-01-22T11:34:00.000-08:00

I just sold my first book, The Web That Has No Weaver, on Amazon last night! One down, about 699 left to go...

Straightening Things Out by Iron-y

2006-01-20T20:30:00.000-08:00

I am continuously amazed by the paradoxical nature of life. Does anyone else feel like the more effort you put into the things you think are important, the further away from the goal you are? And then, you resign yourself to never attaining that goal, only to find that things begin to pick up for you?

It is maddening sometimes to try and determine if the change of wind is a figment of your imagination, or an objective reality...

School of Thoughts

2006-01-20T20:28:00.000-08:00

Perhaps I was a bit premature in suggesting Stats 100 was going to be an enjoyable experience. Like Pavlov's dogs, a mere entry into Wellman 006 is enough to make even an entire pot of coffee feckless in the war against drowsiness. It's like having a Persian Mr. Rogers tell you about joys of calculating the probility - strike that, "probity" - of you falling asleep and getting called on in class assuming a poisson distribution of monotoneness. On the other hand, I do have two $500 malaise traps on order through the Kimsey lab thanks to this class, so I should try to stay excited about it.

Film Studies is pretty much progressing as predicted, and it will be interesting to see how well I do on my first critical film review, due in a few weeks. I think I'm gonna choose Blade Runner as my film, but we'll see. I'm also enjoying learning about the historical aspect behind the movies from class (i.e. Cuban Cultural Revolution, Marxism, etc), but I STILL have yet to determine the TA's gender...

My graduate level class isn't as demanding as I thought it would be yet, but I'm still behind as I have not had time to do either of the last two powerpoint presentations. That means I definitely have to present next Thursday. I've got two really nice lab partners, both of which were chem majors as undergraduates. Surprisingly, neither of the girls had used a gas chromatograph before yesterday, so the playing ground is a lot more level than previously assumed. The best part of this class is that I *finally* have a really hands on course for the instruments my major uses.

While I'm on that topic, can you believe the Forensic Master's program has very few practical labs? I will never understand how you can expect educate someone to perform a completely lab based job by feeding them theoretical concepts all day without backing them up by actually doing them...

Matt, we really need to open our own school.

A Quick Post, On the Fly...

2006-01-19T11:28:00.000-08:00

It's been a few days since I've updated this blog; I sometimes feel that since I am really only writing to two other people besides myself that I am obligated to keep up my LiveJournal for the sake of the dozen or so friends whom I am not in regular contact with.

However, today is not one of those days.

I just recieved an entire California Acadamy of Sciences case full of blowflies from the The Bohart Museum, which I am intensely excited about because they are all collected from one stairwell from one building on campus over a period of months. My preliminary findings are not supportive of my hypothesis, but since the phenomenon I am seeking to describe is known to NOT occur in Protophormia terraenovae.

I think I'm gonna go grab a burger and calm down, before my HPLC lab (Jerid can get excited since he knows what that is now) this afternoon. Tonight I'll give ya a run down of how classes are going...

A Real Classy Guy...

2006-01-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

School started this week, and, man, is it great to be back! I've enrolled for 11 units this quarter, all of which are courses that promise to be extremely interesting. Here's a brief rundown:

STA 100: Applied Statistics for Life Sciences.
Dr. Azari seems like a really nice guy who is absolutely ape shit over stats. Personally, I think that's going a bit too far, but he is very much into the practical use of math in research so lecture should be stimulating enough to keep me awake. Also of high attention value is the personal project that merits 10% of our course grade, because it allows me to twist Kimsey's arm into letting me do more research this quarter. Afterall, he told me to get an A :-)

FMS 001: Intro to Film Studies.
Like many of the humanities courses, this will be a completely new perspective for me- one I am hoping will eventually enrich my theatric experiences down the road. It's been a while since I've had a stimulating conversation about a movie. The only concern I have is that the professor earned her PhD from Berkeley in Gender and Women's Studies, so this class focuses a lot on those issues. I have a hard time with people that choose these topics mostly for the shock value, which appears to be her main objective, so we'll see...

ETX 228: Gas Chromatography/Mass Spectrometry of Toxic Chemicals
Hands down, this will be the most demanding class I have ever taken. The professor actually even knew my name before I called him, because as the only undergraduate in the course, we was concerned about my ability to perform. It seems there were a few GRADUATE level courses before hand that I should have taken too. But we all know what an amazingly stubborn bastard I am, so I told Dr. Holstege to brace himself for an phenomenal performance. This class is central to both my master's project, and my ability to build a case against my undergraduate GPA when I apply in May for graduate school, so I am excited to really make a good impression. I also noticed a lot of worried looks from the students in the class, so maybe I'm not really so far behind...

In summary, I will be stretching my intellectual limits in class, and my social limits as Scoutmaster this quarter. The only thing left to stress is my emotional boundaries, and then I will finally be living the undergraduate life I should have been living all along.

Random Sentiments

2006-01-07T11:58:00.000-08:00

It's been a long while since I've had the inclination to post anything to this journal, but I'm in a weird mood today and if I don't capture the moment, these thoughts may be lost forever.

It's funny how things pile up on you, and you don't realize it until you stop for a minute to reflect upon it. Specificially, attitudes and experience. This fall, I was able to detach myself from virtually all of my influences and bury myself in work, which gave me a lot of time to think about things. I may not be where I need to be just yet, but I think I've come up a bit farther ahead than I was 6 months ago.

I've mastered self control, now I need to learn to let go.

My biggest problem still is that I can't seem to remember how to let loose and have some fun. This is causing a huge mental rift, because I know now what is important to me, and what kinds of people I'd like to befriend or date, but these kinds of connections aren't possible if I'm always on guard. If I can solve this riddle, I think I will be ok.

I want to feel alive.

One novel, life defining experience I had this year came one night I spent at my grandparents house Thanksgiving Eve. We had just had an intense conversation about a handful of problematic people within our extended family, and the reasons why they ended up homeless, addicted to drugs, perpetually unhappy, or pregnant and unwed. By the evening's end, we had arrived at the conclusion that the meaning of life is best answered through the shameless pursuit of your passions, because people who do not have something that constantly inspires them towards one direction end up not moving forward in any direction.

As I lay awake on the sofa thinking it over, I remember feeling so certain of what I needed to do, and so excited to be alive that I almost couldn't sleep. For the first time in memory, colors and random images flashed before my eyes as I drifted off to sleep. This is odd, because I lack the ability to do this on command, and I do not remember any dream I've ever had. The images fit the situation, though, because they always shifted just before I could make them out. In the morning, the feeling was gone, and I haven't found it since.

But I know now what I'm looking for, and that's a great start.

Tax This Memo on His Corkboard

2005-10-30T16:22:00.000-08:00

So, I FINALLY re-requested my W-2 forms from UC Davis Human Resources, and back calculated my federal tax return amount, so that I could hunt down the status of the check from the IRS website. The result:

Refund Status Results

Your refund check was mailed to you and returned by the post office as undeliverable. To ensure delivery of your refund, we need your current address.

Please call the number below for further assistance.

Sometimes I don't know why I kill myself imagining so many other scenarios when the answer is so simple...

Beating Around the Bush

2005-10-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

G.W. Bush and all of his advisors were sitting in their daily briefing meeting one day and one of the advisors said "Mr. President, I'm afraid that I have more casualty reports from the Iraq war. Three Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday."
Mr. Bush puts his head in his hands and looks down. He shakes his head back and forth for a few minutes. Finally, one of the advisors says "Mr. President, are you alright?"
G.W.B. looks up and says "Someone tell me, how many is a Brazilian?"

An Exercise in Fueltility?

2005-10-06T14:17:00.000-07:00

Driven by the recent hikes in gas prices, a group of researchers conducted a series of experiments to determine when rolling down car windows trumps the AC in terms of fuel efficiency.

Their findings? On the highway, closed windows decrease air resistance, so run the air conditioner. But in stop-and-go traffic, shutting off the air conditioning and opening the windows can lighten your fuel use. Air conditioning can lower your fuel economy by 10 percent to 20 percent.

I-80 Gets a Bit More Fuzzy

2005-10-06T14:00:00.000-07:00

Today, on my way to sign Arcadia's job offer, I saw the most unusual site: THREE CHiPs on the side of the 80, each having pulled over a car for speeding. As I passed by, it was like a perfect Charlie's Angels pose: Officer One leaned over the hood of his car writing, Officer Two pointing the radar gun at the passing traffic, and Officer Three upright, tearing off a ticket. Bizzarre.

And then, not 400 yards later was a FOURTH highway patrol man, on motorcycle. This marks the highest presence of law enforcement I have ever seen up here in Davis at one time.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the recent increase in confidence we all have in Davis PD? For those of you not familiar with what I'm talking about, read this story. For those of you too lazy to chase the link, here's a summary:

- Two armed black men in ski masks rob the First Northern Bank.
- They get into a car with two other black men.
- The red dye marker in the money bag explodes, rending the money bright red and useless. In the process, it also renders the black men red.
- The quartet flees the car into downtown Davis.
- Davis PD loses ALL FOUR OF THEM!

So, to recap: Davis has a total black population of 2.3%. Seeing one run down C Street would be unusual. Seeing three would be rare. Seeing three running in ski masks with red dye splattered all over them would be nothing short of an anomalie. Despite this fact, they were able to "vanish" into thin air.

Anyone else feel safe?

Growns

2005-10-04T21:05:00.000-07:00

The question of what constitutes adulthood has been the subject of much reflection lately. The commencement of adolescence is easy enough to pinpoint; it begins with the frightening appearance of body hair, the annoying cracking of one's voice at inopportune times, and the realization that girls are really actually pretty interesting.

Unfortunately, no such yardstick exists for the next stage in a man's life. On paper, or in a court of law, it is sufficient to assign an age. However, if you put an eighteen year old in a room with half a dozen fourty year olds, there clearly is a difference. But what are the important differences? How does he command respect and authority from someone twice his age? Can there ever be real equality between the two groups?

Is the realization that a person is no longer part of "us" but the older "them" an ephemeral "aha" moment? Or is it more of a gradual transition where you wake up one morning and try to figure out when it happened? Parenthood would be a useful marker, except that not everyone has children. Do these people go their whole lives without this paradigm shift?

Carpe Diem: Cesium the Day

2005-10-04T19:35:00.000-07:00

It has been no secret that I have been looking for a more scientific job, so that I can quit painting houses. Fortunately, one of my friends mentioned to me the other day that there was an unannounced opening at Arcadia BioSciences. I later found out that he is the head of the department there, which probably explains how I made it through two groups of interviewers and a constant rain of questions, despite the fact that I have very limited lab experience in molecular biology!

So, as of Monday, I will be testing out new protocols for DNA extraction of plant tissues, and building a cDNA library of the tomato plant genome. Admittedly, botany is not my favorite subject, but this project is actually pretty interesting! My internship is slated to run for 4 months...

Putting the Blow Back in Blowfly

2005-10-04T19:08:00.000-07:00

It is with great reluctance that I announce the suspension of research project that has consumed my conversation, free time and mental resources for the last 16 months. Although I had finally come close uniting the Enviromental Toxicology, Entomology and Donated Body Program departments together, and had the gas chromatography and electrophysiology equipment all lined up, other forces conspired to prevent the experiment from finally happening.

Instead, I will be using the entire school year to focus on my academic endeavors, in an effort to strengthen my graduate school application. It is true I could continue my fight to eludicate the behavioral modifiers of blowflies infesting human remains, but the points brought up as to why I should not are difficult to argue against.

For the record, I am bitter.

There Goes Neighborhood

2005-09-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

Last week, I put my hand on the Troop flag and pledged before our entire troop- boys and parents- that I would do my best to lead them in building a program to remember. While it is certainly an honor to finally be the Scoutmaster, the events that lead up to my inauguration raise a number of issues that had not previously been of much concern.

I never really thought about what Eagle Scout meant to me before this month. It always seemed like the title were just reserved for people who were driven, highly organized, or really morally solid people. Another award for my wall. Maybe for a lot of people, that's all it really is. But the last few weeks of Troop politics has opened up a different meaning for me when I began asking myself whether or not it was a wise idea to take the role of Scoutmaster on before I graduate. When it became clear that no one was really qualified or even willing to assume the job, something new occured to me. Eagle Scouts are not coveted because they need to organize and lead a group of people, but because they have pledged to do it, even if it means they need to give up a few things. When I completed that rank in high school, I pledged to a life of selflessness and ideals in front of everyone important in my life, and I truly feel that I had forgotten that over the last couple of years.

I suspect the next 8 months are going to full of lots of growth for everyone involved...

State of the Union

2005-07-08T00:38:00.000-07:00

So, I suppose it's been to long to just jump right into things; I'll resume my committment to blogging by starting with a summary of where I am right now in life:

1. Despite my best efforts to stay driven and do well in school, I was unable to do as well as I had hoped. Mid-quarter it became apparent I would not pass one of my core classes, and so I decided to take the F and focus on passing my remaining two classes. Unfortunately, the course I need to retake is only offered in the Spring. Thus, I am tied to Davis for one more year.

2. This is ok, because the research on blowfly chemical ecology is getting closer to fruition. Since I visited my Quantitative Anaylsis of Env. Toxicants professor on a nearly religious basis, I now have the green light to use the department's teaching chromatographs for pretty much nine months. This means that when I complete the electroantennagram I'll be VERY busy ;-)

3. Currently, I hold three regular jobs- parking enforcement, painting and viticulture- and one highly infrequent one where I do odd jobs on a farm just outside Davis.

4. I am moving to Placerville at the end of the summer.

5. Still no girlfriend :-(

I think I'll flesh each of these out into a full post in the days to come.

Post 60+ Hour Work Week Ramblings...

2005-06-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

I know what I want now. Change is in the air...

Talk About Jumping Out of the Bag and Into the Jar...

2005-06-11T16:17:00.000-07:00

I came across BonsaiKitten.com through a protest post circulating Myspace.com . I guess some surfers just can't take a joke. Read the guestbook, it's pretty funny stuff.

Man, there's some twisted people out there...

Clint Eastwood? Nope, the Punslinger!

2005-06-11T16:07:00.000-07:00

Yeah... Ha Ha!
Finally someone let me out of my cage
Now, time for me is nothing cos I'm counting no age
Now I couldn't be there
Now you shouldn't be scared
I'm good at repairs
And I'm under each snare
Intangible
Bet you didn't think so I command you to
Panoramic view
Look I'll make it all manageable
Pick and choose
Sit and lose
All you different crews
Chicks and dudes
Who you think is really kickin' tunes?
Picture you gettin' down in a picture tube
Like you lit the fuse
You think it's fictional
Mystical? Maybe
Spiritual
Hearable
What appears in you is a clearer view cos you're too crazy
Lifeless
To know the definition for what life is
Priceless
For you because I put you on the hype shit
You like it?
Gunsmokin' righteous with one token
Psychic among those
Possess you with one go

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless,but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on

The Dark Tower.

2005-01-05T22:17:00.000-08:00

More on this later. I just wanted myself to remember to write about it.

Borders Wanted Some Quick Silver for the Book...

2004-07-12T19:39:00.000-07:00

I've managed to work my way through the first 200 pages of the first volume of the Baroque Cycle, Quicksilver.The lives of the main characters parallel the life I ultimately wish to have when I'm done with school: freedom for endless research and travel. Unfortunately, when I read about the FICTIONAL life and immediate genius of Isaac Newton, I feel so unaccomplished and fear I'd waste it all on pursuits on par with alchemy. Nevertheless, the novel in immensely entertaning.

I've also started reading Basics Of Insect Modeling and 101 Mortgage Secrets Every Homebuyer Should Know-But Lender's Won't Tell, in addition to plowing rather awkwardly through chapter two of Insect Molecular Genetics. That marks about 800 pages in the last two weeks. Man, summer's great. Eventually, though, I'm going to have to take a serious look at Insect Physiology and Organic Chemistry.

Where Did the Dog Go When He Lost His Rear Appendage?

2004-07-12T19:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it has finally arrived in American. Unveiled recently in Washington D.C., I bring you the Homeless Depot.

Damn, How'd She Fit in Them Genes?

2004-07-04T23:06:00.000-07:00

Today, I was reading Insect Molecular Genetics when suddenly I was overcome by a chilling thought. No, it wasn't the same grueling feeling EVERYONE gets reading the complex array of abbreviations and feeble attempts to be poetic about molecular interactions- it was much worse. Here's the excerpt (bare with me) that catalyzed my reaction:

" Some introns have been inherited for millions of years, making it possible to find a consistent location for the introns when homologous genes from different organisms are examined. THE ACTUAL SEQUENCES OF THE INTRONS IN THESE HOMOLOGOUS GENES MAY HAVE DIVERGED THROUGH MUTATION TO THE POINT THAT THEY APPEAR TO HAVE NO SEQUENCE SIMILARITY. Trotman suggests that this consistent location of introns is evidence that introns may have been integral to the development of primordial genes. HOWEVER, VERY FEW OF THE ANCIENT INTRONS MAY HAVE SURVIVED IN A DETECTABLE FORM because cellular life is very old and EVOLUTION HAS HAD A LONG TIME TO CHANGE THE SEQUENCES WITHIN THESE NON-CODING REGIONS. "

What seems most clear to me, just by reading textbooks like these, and remembering my organic chemistry class curve is that there is a tremendous possibility that the person either writing the textbook, or the researcher, doesn't really understand genetics. I'm not claiming that I am the next James Watson; don't get me wrong. Its just that saying you feel the comparison of two segments of a genome, which "don't appear similar at all" is strong evidence to suggest that the two regions come from the same ancestor is pretty weak.

Trotman and Gilbert aside, the terrible thought I came to this afternoon was that there could be hundreds of researchers with poor knowledge of genetics infiltrating the industry publishing bogus papers. Think about it for a minute. EVERYBODY and their brother wants to be a geneticist, either because of the idea of biological engineering, CSI, or the human genome project. This means that there are hundreds of people- people that normally wouldn't make the cut in scientific circles- competing for a job in the world of biochemistry. Assuming even a few dozen brilliant geneticists, who has time to go back and double-check the thousands of experiments conducted by the substandard scientists? Who can fight the pool of "common knowledge" once thier papers are published and cited? The field is moving too fast, and growing too much to make any sort of checking really possible, as far as I can see.

And that frightens me.

Apparently, My Project Wasn't Gonna Fly With Him...

2004-07-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

Alas, the beloved Blowfly Orientation Experiment (BOE) has been slated for lack of available MS/GC assistance. Fortunately, Kimsey is stubbornly refusing to let me walk away from this summer without a manuscript to publish. Ultimately, what this means is that I need to generate other possible research experiments while I'm waiting for someone to offer thier chemical expertise on the first leg of the BOE. As it turns out, this is a better move, anyway, since the only dominant species of blowfly currently in the Davis area is Phormia regina, which would greatly complicate my aspirations to associate blowfly species to individual decomposition chemicals! So, tenatively, here are some ideas I'm tossing around before my meeting on Monday:

- Do different classes of Animals (Aves, Reptilia, Amphibia, Mammalia, and Humans) hold different degrees of attractiveness, and are some blowfly species more drawn to one class than another, given the choice?

- Do different classes of Animals have significantly different effects on maggot growth rate?

- Does olfaction play any role in maggot behavior, with respect to burrowing orientation?

- Does larval diet affect adult choice of what type of carrion its eggs will be laid?

- How far, or how fast, can a blowfly detect a freshly laid corpse?

- Does a fly's position with respect to wind direction significantly impair ability to orient to an odor source?

Perhaps the wisest choice would be to lay these out in a comprehensive order, such that each one leads into a greater understanding of the next one. However, my ultimate goal lies in Medical Entomology, and therefore, I should be careful to choose only that which I can dovetail in with a more related experiment later this year.

Song of Susannah

2004-07-01T15:03:00.000-07:00

Coincindentally, I recieved a package from the Stephen King Library Club on the same day I started packing for the big move to the upstairs apartment. To me, this would be like having Lucy Liu personally invite you to watch her mud wrestle Jennifer Garner on the same day you had an appointment with your dentist for a triple root canal. But, alas, I did the responsible thing and waited three days until I was moved into apartment #186 before opening the precious cargo: the long awaited Song of Susannah.

In many ways, this second to last novel in King's epic saga, The Dark Tower is much more daring than the preceding 5 books. Perhaps the most immediately obvious is the complex, multiple story lines which are delicately related both in space and time. Irritatingly, King choses to spin these lines until they snap at the end of the story, without any resolving any of final issues. This is oddly reminiscent of the "ending" to the third book, The Waste Lands, which also leaves the reader, mid-climax, to wonder what the hell is going to happen next.

Perhaps the most bold move of all was King's decision to include HIMSELF as a pivotal character. By incorporating his life's work, and actual events, King's humble self portrayal once again demonstrates his ability to blur the line between reality and fantasy.

This book is an excellent read, and I cannot wait to find someone else who has read it. In the meantime, I'll just have to stick to my entomology books and hope they release the 7th book soon...

Dichotomous Blogging

2004-06-30T23:59:00.000-07:00

Partly because I no longer wish to comment to Matt's entries as an anonymous passerby, and largely because no one in the LJ community is interested in anything beyond a painful emotional outcry, I am setting up this account. LiveJournal will be reserved for bitching; Blogspot will be dedicated to more intelligent work. More to follow...